Don’t you just hate it when flecks of shit-stained toilet paper get stuck in your ass hair when you’re trying to wipe your butt? Me too!
Thankfully Charmin has us covered.
Seriously you guys, this is not okay. Just because it’s an animated bear that doesn’t mean you can flash his little animated dingleberries all over the place. It’s inappropriate. It’s nasty. It makes me want to kill myself. I’m not some sort sort of poo prude, either. I love talking about poo, but this is just beyond the pale.
But Charmin doesn’t let the fun stop there!
I love how in the demonstration they have a drawing of a hand underneath the toilet paper just in case you don’t understand what they’re trying to simulate. “Oh look, if I used the leading value brand toilet paper and my poo was pure liquid, my hand would be absolutely covered in shit! I better rush out and get Charmin right now!”
Seriously though, you really should rush out and get yourself some Charmin right now. I know I’m hating on the commercials, but that is some seriously quality TP. I feel like the only way any of the other toilet paper brands stay in business is because there are people out there who haven’t tried Charmin yet. My greatest wish in life is that I’ll one day own a house with a bidet, but until then, Charmin will do just fine. It’s like wiping your butt with a handful of silk.
And now it’s like wiping your butt with silk that won’t get stuck to your ass!
I feel like I should say this in a very tiny, small voice but seriously….I love the Charmin Bears. LOVE THEM. So much so that I am almost (but not quite…it’s the dingleberries holding me back) moved to get all Chris Crocker, ”LEAVE THE BEARS ALONE!!111!!”
But then I remember the dingleberries and….revert to a very small voice.
I don’t understand. Who gets toilet paper stuck to their arse? Why is your toilet paper getting THAT damp? Seriously, I don’t need a tv advert getting me paranoid that I’m not shitting like a normal person…
It’s damp from the bidet, obviously.
I am so poor currently that I’m counting on napkins to pull me through to the next check. Word to the wise, Runza napkins suck and so does Burger King’s. Wendy’s are surprisingly nice and Sonic’s are servicable.
Those bears are gross and they get more and more bold with those commercials. I’m waiting for the “2 Bears 1 Cup” to show up any day now. “That’s a one sheeter!”
(I know I’m mixing brand, but come on! That was good, right?)
Never before have I wanted to laugh, cry and vomit all at the same time.
Ok, I talked to my friend Jen about this and she’s a nurse/midwife and she says she has given so many pap smears where the woman has toilet paper stuck to her rear and/or girly bits that it’s not even funny. So I guess it does happen but I still find the commercials gross and stupid and now extra gross because now I know it’s happening to real people and not just animated bears.